Monday, May 21, 2012

Guest Post from Lila Shaw: Can Sex Be Funny?

Can Sex be Funny?

I like to write a touch of humor into all my stories, whether it be a sight gag or a funny line. This is true even for the heart-pounding sexy parts of the story, the parts you flip to when you’re standing in Barnes and Noble checking out the book everyone’s been buzzing about.

But what of the sex depicted in those novels? Realistic or not? I’d be willing to go out on a limb and state that because it’s fiction and escapism at its finest you will rarely read about any of the following:
  • The heroine begging off because it’s that time of month;
  • The hero whining about the last time he’s had a BJ and why he’s due, especially since it’s that time of the month;
  • The hero and heroine bickering over who gets to take top or bottom or why her leg “does not go back that far”;
  • The heroine giving a stern warning to the hero when his aim is anything but sure;
  • Squeals over how cold the lube is;
  • The couple securing a box of tissues for subsequent cleanup in advance of getting jiggy;
  • The heroine dashing off to pee afterwards so she can thwart another UTI;
  • The hero laughing at the heroine’s unsexy panties or vice-versa;
  • The bored expression on the dog’s face as she watches and you know she’s thinking, “damn I should have whined to go out before they got started”;
  • Either partner turning their head to the side to belch from the rich dinner one of them sprang for to set the mood for the night’s seduction;
  • Frustrated sighs when the pogo stick goes off course

This stuff happens! But nobody writes about it because it’s not sexy. When the hero’s nostrils are flaring with lust, the reader does not want to be informed about the heroine’s unfortunate notice of a nostril nugget. Some human foibles do not make for good reading.

BUT… in the right moment, under the right circumstances, with the right characters, it can be a win because it’s relatable. It’s sort of an innocuous means of breaking the fourth wall, or stepping out of the story, if only briefly, to rib the audience by saying, “Aren’t we silly creatures?” And you know what? Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.

BLURB for All's Fair in Love and War:

Only two obstacles block Shelby Donaldson’s path to success at her new job–her sizzling hot supervisor and his freezing cold attitude. Maybe her flirting got a little out of hand at first, but that’s no reason for Mr. Sighs-A-Lot to screw her over in her performance review.

Colin Montoya is not going to fall for Shelby’s sex-in-a-suit brand of temptation. He’s got her number and is not going to dial it, nor is he going to allow Shelby’s philandering brother to marry his baby sister.

After an explosive one-night stand goes awry, battle lines are drawn.  But can the warring co-workers negotiate a cease-fire long enough to realize their romantic fortunes might just lie in each other?

Colin watched Shelby leave, baffled as usual by her flighty behavior. She was the most frustrating woman he had ever met, in more ways than one. Having to work with her for three weeks had stretched his tolerance to the limit. He was grateful to finally be rid of her, the signed performance review in his hot little hands. If only his body felt the same way about her as his head.
He rose from his chair and followed her out. He checked his watch. Nearly five-thirty. Since it was also a Friday, happy hour at the usual location awaited. Good thing, too, because he always felt like a stiff drink after an exchange with Shelby Donaldson.
Shelby sashayed around the corner to her cubicle. Colin couldn’t help but track her hips as they swayed. Exasperated with his unbidden reaction, he made a hard right into his own cubicle and collapsed into his chair. After lingering over a few last minute client details, he organized and stowed his work, then headed out.
At Roscoe's Sports Bar and Grill in the heart of downtown Portland, Oregon, Colin zeroed in on the tiny table a couple of his buddies had staked out near the foosball tables. Pulling up a bar stool, he ordered a beer then dove into the order of nachos that claimed nearly the entire surface of the table. He and his friends caught up with each other, and he shared the reason for his tardiness.
"Isn’t that her over there?" His friend and colleague Allan pointed to a table of giggly women near the bar.
Colin turned and saw several women from his firm, including Shelby.
"Yeah." He spun back around, hoping she hadn’t spotted him.
"Which one is she?" his other friend, Christian, asked.
"She’s the one in the red sweater with long dark hair parted on the side, big hoop earrings with these stupid cats hanging from the bottom, sinister blood red talons for fingernails. You can't miss her if you look for the pall of obstinacy that surrounds her, sort of like Pigpen from Peanuts with his cloud of dirt."
"The one with the nice rack?"
"I hadn’t noticed." Colin feigned disinterest, struggling to keep all inflection from his voice.
“I guess you were too preoccupied with her pus – kitties.” Allen slapped him on the back, and both friends guffawed.
If Colin were being honest, he’d have to admit that not much about Shelby escaped his attention – hazel eyes that danced with amusement at the oddest things, a laugh that contrasted sharply with her delicate features in its bawdiness. And yes, she had a nice rack, as well as nice legs and a tight little body she obviously pampered. Every square inch of her was designed to distract and lure a man to his doom. Even her infectious laughter, which cut through the din of the bar, got to him. It always had, but that lethal package was marred by a personality made of piss and vinegar when she didn't get her way. Given the inappropriateness of dating a co-worker, especially a subordinate, he was almost grateful for the fatal flaw.
Colin escaped to the bathrooms to shut out the mirthful sounds. On his return, he met Shelby in the narrow hallway. They did the obstacle dance with each other before he stopped and stood to one side. As she nodded then passed, he got a whiff of her perfume, the same scent she wore every day. Over his shoulder, he watched her walk away before he continued back to his table, shaking his head. He absolutely hated how she turned him upside down.

Lila Shaw is the pen name for a writer of works of erotica and erotic romance.  She also writes adult fiction (novels and short stories in many genres) and non-fiction under the pen name of Claire Gillian.

Lila’s erotic writings typically involve strong-willed women, and are often playful, sarcastic and even silly.  She believes if you can’t occasionally laugh at the physical aspects of love, you’re taking life far too seriously.

Her published works include All's Fair in Love and War, short stories in the Midnight Seduction and Stockings and Suspenders anthologies, all from Evernight Publishing. As Claire Gillian, her debut novel, The P.U.R.E. was released April 16th. Upcoming works include short stories in the following anthologies: Conquest Through Determination (steampunk themed from Pill Hill Press) and Tidal Whispers (ocean creatures-themed from J. Taylor Publishing).

Lila lives in the Pacific NW with her very funny husband and two sons. She works full time as a finance/operations professional for a large insurance company. 

If you'd like to get a copy of All's Fair in Love and War, you can find it here:

If you'd like to find out more about Lila, you can find her here:

Thank you so much for stopping by and happy reading! :)


  1. Thanks so much for hosting me today, Siobhan. I named a character after you in one of my in process books. Ok, maybe she was already named Siobhan, but I would have!

    1. LOL!

      I laughed the minute I read your list for this post. Then I dragged my husband over to read it, too. Thanks so much for posting today and congratulations on your release, Lila! :)

  2. Hilarious, as always, Ms Shaw!

  3. Congrats on your release, Lila! Enjoyed the post. LOL

  4. Two of my favorite author gals are together! Love you both!! Fantastic post, Lila. I'm still chuckling about the leg not going back that far line.

    I'm reading All's Fair right now and am SO enjoying the story. It's fast moving, witty and fun. If you haven't read it yet - go get it! Now! You'll be happy you did.

    1. Thank you, darlin'! Siobhan is the hostess with the mostest.

      Sadly, the entirely of the leg comment is: "Beware. That old leg does not go back that far but it comes back down packing a mighty whallup to the elderly who happen to be in its way."

    2. Thank you, Sandra! :) It was a great pleasure to have Lila here. :)

  5. OMG, Lila. I'm so using that list in my next satirical romance piece. :p

    1. You are welcome to any and all as I'm sure they have been uttered by many before and are part of the common domain. LOL


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