Good morning and welcome to the Weird, the Wild, & the Wicked. As many of you know, I write (and read) romance. I like contemporary, historical, paranormal, erotic, and recently I’ve started reading what Ellora’s Cave terms Taboo. This is the rougher side of love and can be just as beautiful and romantic as any other romance. I like reading well written BDSM because if the author captures it completely, the love and genuine care between the characters becomes evident.
Today I have a rare opportunity to speak with a true Master of BDSM, Master Marc D’Alessio from Denver’s Masters at Arms Club. Marc’s story was graciously written down by Kallypso Masters in Nobody’s Angel.
Welcome, Master Marc, it is an honor to speak to you.
It’s a pleasure to be here, Siobhan. That’s a beautiful name, by the way.
Thank you. *Grins, flattered*
Thank you for having me at your blog. I would like to correct you on one small point that people get confused about. I’m not sure there’s any such thing as a “master” at BDSM, or a perfect Dom. I am still learning and have a very fine mentor, Master Adam Montague, who also happened to serve as my master sergeant in the Marines when we served together in Iraq. But I think he’d be the first to say he’s not a master either. We just try to be perfect in the moment with the subs who put their trust in us.
You make an excellent point. However, I’d say the true masters are the ones who say they are not. But we should get on with the interview.
When did you first recognize your need for BDSM love?
Actually, someone else recognized it. I was seventeen and working at my family’s ski resort in Aspen when a bored guest handed me her room key and introduced me to bondage and domination. It wasn’t long before Master Marco was born and I became one of the best-kept secrets at the resort. Mama didn’t find out about it until long after Master Marco had been retired.
If Master Marco has retired, how did you get back into BDSM and what forms do you practice?
*Grins* Well, I didn't totally lose interest in BDSM. I had a roommate at Camp Pendleton when I was training with the Marines. He had all the wrong ideas about BDSM and, a week before we deployed to Iraq, I dragged him up to LA to show him what BDSM could be like between consenting adults. I most prefer bondage and domination, but can deliver discipline if necessary. I do not get off bringing pain to my submissives, unless it’s in a “funishment” when punishment or discipline is delivered in a role-play scene, such as the “bad school girl,” or such.
*Matches his grin* I’ve been known to be a bad girl. Mr SM tells me all the time. *winks* Was that how you become a part owner of the Masters at Arms Club?
No, when I went to Iraq, I had no plans to start a BDSM club, but then I got wounded and was at loose ends. I knew I couldn’t go back to Aspen. I was dying cooped up inside an office at the family resort. My master sergeant told me about his plans to start a fetish club in Denver, and I jokingly said I might like to help him get it started. Well, it took us a while to get the club off the ground. The third partner, Damián, had some serious shit to recover from and we waited until he was on his feet *glances away with a pained expression* before we launched it four years ago. In retrospect, I’m not sure if we banded together to run a BDSM club so much as we had bonded in Fallujah and didn’t want to lose touch with each other. We each had nowhere to go, so we joined forces and have become a family, of sorts. Another member of my Marine recon unit, Grant, joined us earlier this year. She’s our resident Domme, although she does bottom for Master Adam when he needs someone for a demonstration or…well, whatever. But he describes her as more subordinate than submissive. *Smiles wryly*
That must be an interesting relationship.
*Laughs* Definitely interesting. Two strong dominants scening together is always something to see.
What’s your main job at the club? Do you have a specialty?
It’s definitely not running the business end of things, that’s for sure. I’m happy to leave that to Adam. *Laughs, then his smile fades* I haven't been at the club much this past year, but I used to train the unattached submissives. Damián took over that job while I was gone. I also gave weekend sessions for new Doms and new members on how to get the most of their scenes, especially at the club. We don’t like to have abusive Doms scening in the club. There are a lot of Tops/Doms/Dommes who just don’t get that BDSM is not about abuse. I’ll probably be taking up those activities again soon. Of course, my specialty is anything in the medical room, given that I was a Navy corpsman (what civilians would call a medic) for the Marine unit I served with. My nickname was “Doc.” I also enjoy sensual flogging and plan to demonstrate the Florentine flogging technique at the club in the coming months.
What is the “Florentine flogging technique” and how is it different from other flogging techniques?
Florentine flogging is done with two identical or similar floggers. I prefer using leather or suede ones with 18-24-inch strands. After warming up the sub, I use a rhythmic motion of downward strokes to the safe muscular areas of the upper back, ass, and thighs. Having the two floggers striking in such rapid succession is very intense for the sub--and for the Dom, as well. *Smiles*
*Shivers with a grin* Does your family know about your work at the club?
Unfortunately, yes, they do. I was training my little brother, Alessandro, to take over running things at the resort the night before I reported to Great Lakes for naval boot camp, and I had an emergency call from a guest in one of the remote cabins. When we went inside, we found the guest naked, an older woman, kneeling, a riding crop between her teeth, and asking which of us was Master Marco. I deflected the situation and told Sandro to forget what he’d seen because Master Marco had been retired, but eventually he blabbed to Mama. I think he was trying to get himself out of trouble when the fetish magazines he’d subscribed me to while I was training at Camp Pendleton started coming to him after I deployed. Porn isn’t allowed in Iraq. *Sighs* Anyway, I don’t know what you know about Italians and their Mamas, but when she insisted that I wear a mask while in public scenes at the club, in case any of her friends from Aspen should show up there, I had to comply. That’s why I wear the wolf eye mask while on Dungeon Monitor Supervisor duty.
Why do you think your patrons need this kind of love/sexual release?
BDSM isn’t always about sex. Most of my scenes are strictly about control, domination, bondage. I enjoy getting bottoms or subs off sexually, but I don’t go beyond that in most scenes at the club. I’ve only taken it further sexually a few times and it hasn’t really been very…satisfying for me. Women tend to want more than I’m willing to give, so my motto is KISS—Keep It Superficial Stupid.
There are lots of reasons why the BDSM lifestyle and scene attracts people. We tend to be a very open and welcoming community. When you’re on the fringes of “polite” society, you tend to overlook the imperfections of others. We don’t judge other people and their kinks. BDSM is a spectrum. While I tend to stick to bondage and domination, others take it to the extreme, with edge play (knives, fire, needles, blood). We don’t see a lot of that at the Masters at Arms, although there are some into hardcore sadomasochism.
Master Damián is what’s known as a sensual sadist. He’s told me the lifestyle helped him regain some control over his life after what happened in Fallujah when he lost his foot. But he’ll only unleash his beast, as he calls it, on submissives looking for that level of pain. I’ve never seen him draw blood. He’s not into that. But watching him stripe someone’s back with a single-tail whip is really a thing of beauty. And the masochistic subs love him and come back again and again. He even has one woman who comes to him regularly for fire cupping, because she says it helps her deal with the pain of her fibromyalgia.
There also are those who’ve been abused sexually whose sexual identity is wired to find some of the same types of activities arousing now. We always ask our new members to share what their triggers are, and sometimes we find triggers they weren’t even aware of. But they find some sense of regaining control, whether as a top or bottom by practicing BDSM. I’m no psychologist or anything. Those are just some of the things I’ve seen and heard.
Why do you need this kind of love?
*Squirms in the chair* Who said anything about love? As I said, it’s not about commitment for me. It’s more of a…hobby. These days, I’m happier going wilderness trekking, skiing, working on the mountain search-and-rescue squad. I’m not looking for love. *Siobhan raises an eyebrow* There was this woman . . . Let's just say it didn't end well and I've pretty much been avoiding anything serious ever since.
It probably has to do with trust. You have to develop a strong level of trust with whoever you scene with. That's not easy for everyone, myself included. So, no, I’m not looking for love.
I understand you recently rescued a submissive from an abusive Dom. Can you explain a little about what happened and why you chose to step in?
Ah, yes. Last weekend. Well, I’ve been volunteering as the Dungeon Monitor Supervisor lately, since I haven’t really been into doing any scenes. Dungeon Monitors—or DMs—patrol the club during regular hours trying to keep an eye on the scenes and activities and to make sure things are kept safe for everyone. That woman was new to the BDSM lifestyle and her Dom—I use the term loosely, because I think he really was one of those abusers I was telling you about earlier—was flogging her and she seemed to be in distress. It’s really hard for a DM to tell what level of pain a sub is into, so it took me a few minutes of observing to see she wasn't enjoying the scene. I’m not sure how familiar you are with BDSM or fetish club rules, but a DM isn’t allowed to interrupt a scene or touch a scene participant. Once I got permission to examine her, I quickly realized she’d gone into deep subspace. Subspace is what it’s called when the sub’s mind and body disconnect. For experienced subs, it’s often a goal. But if it goes too deep, especially for a newbie sub like she was, it can cause hallucinations and medical issues. So, I put an end to the scene and provided aftercare to bring her back into her body.
What exactly is “aftercare” and what does it entail?
Even in a good BDSM scene, the sub gives so much to the Dom. The experience can be very intense, even more so in a scene that hasn't gone well. It's important for the Dom to take time to ensure that the sub is safe, protected, nurtured after a scene. I like to hold her in my lap and wrap her in a warm blanket, talk with her about the scene, just help her slowly reintegrate if she's been in subspace, or process the feelings the scene might have brought out.
*Cocks head to one side* Did you feel a connection with the woman when you rescued her?
*Admires his hands* Connection? I cared about her safety and her well-being. She didn’t deserve to be abused or taken advantage of in that way. No one does. I did want to check up on her later, but one of the club’s rules is confidentiality and she signed her membership forms asking for anonymity. So, Adam wouldn’t reveal any contact info for her. She doesn’t live in Denver, so I doubt I’ll ever see her again.
What did Master Adam do about the abusive dom?
Kicked his ass out and banned him. None of us will tolerate that kind of behavior here at the club. We run a friendly, healthy, “nice” club and plan to keep it that way. I wish we’d have the woman he abused to come back and try us again. I’d be interested in showing her the difference between what she experienced before and what the experience could be like with someone who listens to her needs and wants, honors her limits and safe word, and shows her true BDSM. But I have a feeling she’ll not want anything more to do with this lifestyle after what happened. That’s the real pity. That asshole ought to be horsewhipped for doing that to her.
I hope you get that opportunity, Master Marc, if she does come back. All the best of luck with the club and thank you so much for coming today to talk about your story.
My pleasure. Stop by the club sometime. I’m sure we can arrange the perfect scene for you, Siobhan.
*Laughs with a sultry smile* I might just do that.
SHORT EXCERPT FROM Nobody’s Angel
This is part of the scene where Master Marc meets up with the newbie sub he rescued at the club a month earlier, but she doesn’t recognize him.
An awkward silence passed before Marc did change the subject. “So, cara, tell us about yourself.” He knew nothing about her and had a definite interest in learning more.
“My life is pretty dull compared to yours. I graduated from culinary school last May and started a local catering business. Second generation Italian-American. I spent many summers with my Nonna in Marsala, where I learned all her culinary secrets. I specialize in her Sicilian recipes. Of course, I personalize them a bit.”
Marc held his hand over his heart and gave her a pained expression. “Please, no more, or I’ll have to kidnap you and chain you to my stove until you’ve prepared everything your grandmother taught you to make.”
He saw her pupils dilate at the mention of chains and an image flitted across his mind of her wearing nothing but a skimpy French maid’s apron, a smile, and an ankle cuff attached to the stove by a chain. Her jaw dropped open, as if she’d seen the same image. Hmmm. Culinary bondage? The thought made his cock stiffen. Fantasies of having her chained to his anything sent his cock to throbbing.
For the first time in a year, he found himself interested in playing with a sub again.
COMPLIMENTARY BOOK & CHANCE TO WIN ANOTHER
Master Marc has two wonderful surprises for my blog readers today. First, comment below for a chance to win a copy of Nobody’s Angel. (He says if you’ve already read it, Kallypso Masters will put you on the list to receive the next book in the series, Nobody’s Hero, coming out in December.) If you haven’t read it, it’s awesome. Just leave a comment below (with your e-mail address or Twitter handle), make sure you’re a follower of the blog, and we’ll do a drawing using random.org after 6 p.m. (Eastern US) Saturday, Oct. 15. The winner will be announced in the comments here.
But Master Marc also has another treat for everyone. You don’t want to read
Nobody’s Angel until you’ve read
Masters at Arms, the prequel/introduction to the Rescue Me series. For those who haven’t read it already, it’s available at those same e-book outlets, but he is offering readers of my blog a
free copy of Masters now through Oct. 15. Just use Coupon Code HA48E at Smashwords to get your copy in your preferred e-book format.
Want to know more about Kallypso Masters or her books? You can find Kally online at:
Thanks, everyone, for stopping by and happy reading!
In honor of this heritage, I'm giving away a Jae Lynne Davies swag bag with two books and all the vampire goodies you could ever need to a lucky commenter. All you have to do is tell me what you love about vampires and leave me a valid email address or twitter handle so I can contact you if you win.
