Thursday, April 12, 2012

#ThursThreads - The Challenge that Ties Tales Together - Week 18

Welcome back to the Weird, the Wild, & the Wicked. It's Thursday again, so what should you be doing? Writing #FlashFiction, that's what! Welcome to Week 18 of #ThursThreads, the challenge that ties tales together. Need the rules? Read on!

Here's how it works:
  • The prompt is a line from the previous week's winning tale.
  • The prompt can appear ANYWHERE in your story and is included in your word count.
Rules to the Game:
  • This is a Flash Fiction challenge, which means your story must be a minimum of 100 words, maximum of 250.
  • Incorporate the prompt anywhere into your story (included in your word count).
  • Post your story in the comments section of this post
  • Include your word count (or be excluded from judging)
  • Include your Twitter handle or email (so we know how to find you)
  • The challenge is open 7 AM to 7 PM Pacific Time
  • The winner will be announced on Friday, depending on how early the judge gets up. ;)
How it benefits you:
  • You get a nifty cool badge to display on your blog or site (because we're all about promotion - you know you are!)
  • You get instant recognition of your writing prowess on this blog!
  • Your writing colleagues shall announce and proclaim your greatness on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus

Our Judge for Week 18:

The super spiffy, dead thing specialist masquerading as a mining geologist, Mr. V.

And now your #ThursThreads Challenge, tying tales together.

The Prompt:

"The “young, dumb, and full of cum” brigade."

Away with you, Flash Fiction Fanatics, and show us your #ThursThread. Good luck! :)


  1. The Pirate

    A pirate of sorts, I hear some say.
    A finder of gold and hidden grave.

    Mr. V risks the forest wilds and even the raging rivers
    Some things he puts in books, but his pockets get lined with other treasures

    Up on the frozen mount or down in the lost valleys
    Panning and mining for knowledge, too few friends are really his allies

    Life and limb risked in his quest of dusty bone and tattered maps
    Snake, cougar and bear guard forgotten pits, puzzles and traps

    He leads, The brigade of ‘young, dumb, and full of cum’
    His heart seems to beat of a different drum

    Fare thee well Mr. V
    Treasure you find, we wait to see

    118 Words - @acenance

  2. Couldn't help but combine the picture with the prompt. A victim of the #FridayPictureShow it would seem.
    And poetry, not my thing, but it seemed to be what the picture needed.


    1. LOL, I'm sure he'll get a kick out of it, Greg. :D

  3. Feeling a little exposed, I shift the strap of my rifle. With free hands, I push my cart up and down the rows of boy’s clothes.

    “You’re fine, Cassy. It’s their first raid, but they know how to shoot.” Saying it aloud doesn’t help me believe it either.

    Smashing glass. Wheeling the cart, I run toward the sound of gunfire, hoping the ‘young, dumb and full of cum’ brigade are holding their own.

    The boys look crazed, each firing in a different direction at mindless monsters. More and more come through the broken window.

    Abandoning the cart, I pull my rifle up and turn off the safety. A string of bullets knocks back one meat sack after another until I’m at the door of our van. Hopping in, I sling the rifle off and turn the key in the ignition. One honk is all the warning I can afford before slamming into reverse and gunning the gas. Squelching follows as bodies are crushed beneath my tires. I brake after the first mighty roll. Banging thunders through the empty back of van. The side door opens and there is a thud followed by a scream. Tossing the vehicle into park, I lift my rifle.

    It’s not one of the living dead. Another injured boy lands beside the first. Both groan loudly enough to be heard over the door sliding shut. I’m already back in the driver’s seat, the van back in gear.

    My brigade is definitely a little shorter on cum.
    250 words

  4. The car ride had been too long and Shakti was more than excited to get out and stretch her legs. She swung the car door open and hopped out, bending at the waist and then stretching her arms to the sky, a soft sigh escaping from her mouth. “You need to get over your fear of flying, homie.”

    Malcolm got out and stretched as well. “Just because I’m black doesn’t mean you can call me homie.”

    She shrugged. “Just trying to bond.”

    “Yeah, well that ain’t the way to go about it.”

    They both stared at the busy campus, at the boys and girls smiling yet scurrying about to get to their next class. A group of boys walked past the car, all of which sized Shakti up and even dared to whistle once they were out of her eye line. She turned, glared at them, and fought the urge to give Malcolm a right hook to the gut when she saw the huge grin on his face.

    “Someone’s going to have a lot of fun…”

    “Oh yeah, cause I really want a piece of the ‘young, dumb, and full of cum’ bridage.”

    That made him smile, genuinely smile. “For a newbie, you’ve definitely got a mouth on you. C’mon, let’s get you signed in so you can get to work.”

    She stared at him as he walked towards the entrance and then frowned. She’d hated high school the first time around. She wasn’t too excited about the second.

    249 words

  5. “Sargent! Your brigade is at it again!”

    “Yes, sir! I’ll take care of it, sir!”

    Off I went. To brigade 20‘s building, wondering how fucked up those boys were. In training to join the Marines. Boot camp. They were a bunch I’d never forget. Every one of them was 18. They all had those damn phones. And they spent their sleeping hours using them. Watching porn on the ‘Net.

    Idiots. They didn’t seem to know their communications were monitored. So there I was. Walking to 20‘s building. Having been ordered by the base commander to slap them all down. Again. Every night for a fracking week.

    I made a stop at base security, and got four big, bad Marines. Told ‘em what I wanted. They each got a M249, a helmet, and armored vests. Made one scary bunch to look at.

    We didn’t knock. Two marines went to each of the doors of the building. And kicked the suckers in. That got everyone’s attention. Then I went in. And started screaming. “Alright girls of the young, dumb, and full of cum brigade! By order of the commander, we’re here to pick up all electronics! Phones! Computers! Even your fuckin’ Game Boys! You’ll get ‘em back AFTER boot camp, when you’re grown up enough to have ‘em.! If you gotta problem with that, talk to the Marines with the guns!”

    239 words

  6. “What are we doing to do about them, then?” Tom looked out to sea and nodded his head towards all the surfers bobbing about on the waves. The swell wasn’t very high; he knew they were waiting for the one forecast later that night.

    “I’m not sure, we could try and forewarn them, but really they’ll just laugh at us.” Dan was standing next to Tom on the cliff top, also watching the surfers. They looked like large shoals of basking fish, as they grouped together treading water on their boards.

    “When that moon rises tonight they’re going to be in trouble.” Tom observed.

    “Yeah I know, but you try and tell them that. There’s no talking to them.” Dan shook his head.

    “True, the ‘young dumb and full of cum’ brigade as Warren calls them.” Tom laughed. “Although truthfully, would it really matter?”

    Dan gave Tom a shocked look. “What? If they were still out there?”

    “Yeah. I mean we’re going to be searching for food anyway.”

    “But there’re loads of them!”

    “So? We could turn it into a banquet, I mean it’s not like it’ll just be you and me, the whole packs going to be out.” Tom’s eyes glinted yellow at the anticipation.

    Dan was wide-eyed, and then smiled broadly, his canine’s displaying prominently. “And with each wave another course.” His eyes reflected the same yellow tint as Tom’s.

    232 Words

  7. ‘Come on, Sandy – you know it’s gonna be fun…’
    I scowled and readjusted my boob tube. ‘I can’t wear this thing, Carrie. I haven’t got the tits for it.’
    Carrie laughed and smacked her lips together. Her lipstick was the colour of ketchup. ‘You so DO. You need to make the most of your assets, hun. We’ve got BOYS to impress.’
    ‘Hmmph. That lot?’ I leant over the balcony and pointed down at the group of lads with too tight t-shirts and faces melted by the sun. ‘I want to find a MAN, Carrie. Not one of the “young, dumb and full of cum” brigade!’
    ‘You won’t be saying that later, love…’
    She cackled and I wanted to slap her. Why the hell had I agreed to come to Ibiza with her? We were too old for this shit. ‘Here, gimme that vodka,’ I said. I downed half the bottle and grimaced. ‘Christ.’
    Carrie giggled. ‘C’mon, Sandy…’ She took the bottle from my hand and threw it over the balcony. The sound of breaking glass was followed by a huge ‘whaaooh’ from the lads down below. A couple of them kept on walking, but one was staring up at us with his arms outstretched.
    ‘Ladies,’ he yelled. ‘Are you joining us?’ Sounds of laughter from the rest of the crowd floated up and Carrie pulled up her top and flashed them.
    Come ON, Sandy’ she said. ‘This is going to be the best 40th birthday EVER.’

    246 words

  8. Adalric felt his loins stir as he beheld the fit, youthful, humans standing before him. Yet he knew some discretion was required. To have made it all the way to his chamber without audience, they had bested his guards and wards in some manner. Since becoming a Demon King his appetite for human flesh had become near insatiable. Restraining his considerable powers was difficult.

    “What have we here?” He smirked hungrily, “The ‘young, dumb, and full of cum’ brigade?”

    The petite brunette with blue hair-bow matching her eyes stepped forward. Even under the musk of sweat and exertion, Aldaric could smell sweetness from her. It was likely they had bested his guards physically, rather than somehow avoided them. This could be very interesting.

    “Actually,” she spoke with the cute clarity of virtue, “We prefer the designation ‘Sex Warriors.’”

    Aldaric concealed his shock, eyes narrowed. Discretely he readied hidden tentacles for an all out assault on the assembled youths.

    “Who are you?”

    “You’re about to find out,” the brunette winked.

    169 words

  9. Chris lifted her head from her knees and held her breath. She’d heard something over the constant river noise coming from outside their dank prison. Listening hard, she heard voices rising above the water’s rumble.

    She scrambled to her feet and pressed her body to the cold, damp concrete wall to look out their little window. The dim daylight faded quickly and she could just make out figures headed toward the artistic rock she’d seen in the river’s flow. They carried flashlights, the beams jerking wildly with each step they took.

    Chris caught snippets of conversation filled with “dudes” and expletives before hearing the hiss of spraypaint cans. They might have been members of the “young, dumb, and full of cum” brigade, but she’d take them over nothing.

    Taking a deep breath, she pursed her lips, and blew a sharp whistle.

    Conversation ceased like someone had thrown a switch.

    “Fuck, did you hear that?”

    “I dunno. It could be just the wind.”

    “No, I swear it’s someone out here.”

    Chris whistled again. Come on, guys. You’re dumb and curious. Come looking.

    “Hello? Anybody there?”

    “Shh! What are you doing, man? They’ll hear you.”

    “That’s the idea, dumbass!”

    The flashlights bobbed as the young men picked their way closer to Chris’ position. When they began to drift too far, Chris whistled again until they swung a light up into her face.

    “Holy shit! Is that a girl?”

    236 #WIP500 ineligible words

  10. Oh, look at them, the “young, dumb, and full of cum” brigade. I remember being like them. The nights were long and sweet. I could drink my belly full of suds then bang two or three babes before the sun came up. When the dead came back, my two buds and me would take out hundreds of them in the light of the setting sun.

    One night, we decided that we’d do them dead bastards some damage before we called it a night. We stole some night-vision goggles and guns from the armory, then snuck through the city gates into the dark squalid streets of Dead Town that surrounded us. They were easy to find with their idiotic groans. We started firing, exploding their heads in the pale moon light.

    “Out of ammo,” Tim said.

    “What the fuck man?” Billy yelled at him. “You said you grabbed enough. I got a full clip, how much you got left?”

    “My clip is almost full,” I said. “Enough to get back to the gates if we don’t run into many.”

    We retraced our steps and didn’t shoot unless they blocked us. We rested in an alcove before we finished our travels. Billy led us out and we turned a corner into an ambush of the putrid dead. I was lucky, I only lost my legs, Billy and Tim died. The bar-keep says he’s seen them a few times on his duty nights but he doesn’t have the heart to take them out.

    250 Words

  11. Murphy’s Law

    A quiet trip to the grocery store is all we had in mind when we left the house, but nothing ever goes as planned. We parked under the shade tree at the end of the lot. I locked the car with the keychain and held out my arm for my wife’s hand, when I heard her gasp.

    Two skinny, young punks stood between us. They looked like twins, with dirty hair and torn jeans. A couple from the “young, dumb, and full of cum” brigade.

    “Give me your cash old man,” the taller one said with a puff of smoke crawling through the holes in his teeth.

    He’s not the one I punched first, but he got the worst end of it when I caught him with my elbow on the way back. They ran. Cowards like that usually do.

    I dialed 911 on my phone and began to speak when I heard terror in Carrie’s voice, “Greg, they’re coming back with a gun.”

    I said into the phone, “Ma’am, forget the rest. Send an ambulance.” [click].

    I told Carrie to run away as I pulled my gun from under the driver’s seat. She was already between the cars a row over when he fired. I saw her go down, and then so did he. His friend froze when I pointed the gun at him.

    I grabbed his collar and started dragging him toward where I saw her last. “You should start praying now that my wife is just hiding.”

    250 Words - @acenance
    Second Entry - Closer to the center of my genre of writing.

  12. Not My Daughter
    By Lisa McCourt Hollar

    We called them The “young, dumb, and full of cum” brigade. There were six boys in all, George was the leader. Tall, with dark hair, he was handsome. I could understand why Meg was attracted to him. I wouldn’t let her date him though, even when she begged me, tears streaming down her face.

    “But Mom, he could have his pick of any girl and he chose me!”

    “Well I’m sorry Margaret Jane,” I said, using her full first and middle name, “but he has a reputation. He can find someone else’s daughter to take to the dance.”

    She flounced out of the room then and I knew that wouldn’t be the end of it. You would think Meg would realize I was young once, but they never think it’s true when you tell them. I was waiting at the bottom of the trellis when she snuck down from her room. She didn’t see me, I made sure to stay in the shadows. Just as I thought, the dance was just the excuse. She met them in the park.

    I was sure that George would grow up one day to be a fine, upstanding man, but that wouldn’t happen if he added my daughter to his list of conquests. I only intended to scare him, but like I said, I could understand the attraction. His scent was intoxicating and his blood… well, once I started, I couldn’t stop. I drained him. Then of course I had to kill the others.

    Word Count: 250

  13. Playing A Bad Hand

    Julio looked whiter than a sheet of typing paper, which wasn’t the norm for the street-wise barrio boy turned homicide cop. The young Latino couldn’t even lock eyes with him.

    “Sorry El-Tee but this one ain’t by the books by a long shot. It’s…it’s…the Blarney Boys, boss.”

    Haggerty groaned. OCB had called that one right. The Irish immigrant gang had finally raised the ante. They were affectionately known as the “young, dumb, and full of cum brigade". They were a crew of pale, muscular white boys who were moving in on the locals. They were tough and hungry but none too bright.

    With close to fifty lesser convictions amongst them, they were more of a joke than a serious threat. They’d stuck to drugs, gambling, some half-assed protection scams…but nothing that would explain offing somebody. They weren’t stupid enough to rock the boat that hard.

    “Not what you think, boss. They didn’t do the deed. They got done…got done and then some. Never seen nothin’ even close to this, dude.” He nodded over his shoulder.

    I looked and saw something unknown in my 26 years with the SFPD. Everybody and then some from CSU was there. Fifteen ambulances stood on line.

    “County policy they say. Separate ambulance for so many pieces parts of whatever...uh...whomever. Wasn’t enough left of any one of them to shove into one of Woo Woo Wong’s old sneakers!”

    Okay, Julio was right to call. It was going to be a very long day indeed.

    250 WIP words @klingorengi

  14. Brianna was smarter than she looked. Since she was blonde and a D cup, people always thought she was a member of the "young, dumb, and full of cum" brigade and she used this to her advantage.

    "What does THIS do?" she asked the mechanic as he wrote up her car's repair ticket and she gazed at some gadgets. As if she didn't already have his attention, her coquettish voice made it impossible for him to resist.

    "That's a demo of one of those new, biometric car locks."

    "Bi... so you have to have two of them?"

    "No. Instead of using regular keys, it uses your fingerprint."

    "Really? Show me."

    He moved around to the front of the counter and placed his thumb onto the plate. The solenoid clicked and he was able to swing the panel open.

    "Wow!" she giggled, "So that will only work with YOUR thumb? If I try it it will stay locked?"

    "Yeah, that's right. Give it a try."

    "That won't be necessary." Her voice reverted to a more official tone as she pulled her badge out of her purse and her partner entered through the front door. "This will be just the rest of the evidence we need. You are under arrest for the murder of Tyrone Durning. You have the right to remain silent..."

    223 words

  15. (This was a difficult one.)

    High school was always a pain in the ass. It was even worse when they started letting EVERYONE attend if they had the right connections. There were specific conditions that had to be made for the student body and there was stomping and crying from parents who wanted their darling little special snowflakes to attend one of the best schools in the state.

    They came in smelling like hair spray and bad cologne and skin moisturizer. The more local of the student body called them the ‘young, dumb and full of cum’ brigade. It fit really. What else would humans be called that were idiotic enough to want to attend a school full of monsters that would rather dine on them than study with them.

    125 words

    1. I struggled to find a way to use the prompt as well. At least, in a way I felt comfortable with.

  16. I wander the empty streets. The dark and dirty alleys. Graffiti defaces a once beautiful mural of a dance troupe. They are now covered in phallic images and dubbed ‘The young, dumb and full of cum brigade’. This place is an urban wasteland.

    I turn and drift toward the sound of violence. In a rotting gutter, two miscreants pulverize a vagrant with a pipe and a bat, laughing. The broken body is still, only jerking in response to the sound of metal against flesh and bone. I continue my approach, my torpid steps unnoticed. They finally notice me when I stand next to them, towering over.

    “Whoa, where’d you come from, freak? And what’s with the costume? Look like a damn ghost!” He laughs and points his pipe at me, a menacing grin on his face.

    “’Ey take that mask off!” The other swings at my head with grimy fingers. He pulls at my horns and my featureless face. “What the hell…? What are you?”

    “Who cares, let’s beat the freak!” They strike me repeatedly, but I hold steady. The rage is deep in their core. These vessels are not redeemable.

    “I am judgment.” I lift my lank, decrepit arms and tap their shoulders. Their inert bodies drop to the ground.

    I turn away, drifting off toward the sound of violence.

    221 words

  17. "An eye for her tastes"

    Spring air blew across the old porch, pushing the gentle smell of magnolias out into the street.

    Santino knew this was just the kind of evening that Arriana loved and in good spirits, she’d asked him to bring her something sweet to eat.

    He was used to her cravings. He’d been with her for years and anticipated her needs as best he could. She always paid him handsomely.

    In hopes of pleasing her, he’d taken her pet twins with him on his outing. They were beautiful, long-legged and foreign: the perfect honey for the bears he meant to catch.

    A sashay or two from the twins, a couple of kegs of beer and he’d nabbed a group of dumb, but willing frat boys. He presented them to Arianna with a short bow, nudging the leader of the group onto the stairs.

    “I know what you like, mistress, truly, but on such short notice--the “young, dumb, and full of cum” brigade is the only thing I could rustle up.”

    Always be humble, despite knowing your expertise. Santino had learned this long ago—maybe 2, 300 years ago?

    Arianna tilted her head this way and that, then began to smile. She gave Santino a sideways glance as she motioned for the white-bread 2 Live Crew to file into her house.

    “Perhaps I am in the mood for something less sweet and more…well.” She laughed.

    Santino knew. He always knew. He had an eye for her tastes.


  18. #ThursThreads is now CLOSED. Thank you to all who wrote this week and see you next week! :)

  19. I wanted to share :)
    Don't enter me (obviously), since it's too late, but here's mine:

    Holstering my pistol, I glanced behind me. The “young, dumb, and full of cum” brigade couldn’t keep up. I snorted. Of course they couldn’t. I knew these mountains inside and out. They were nothing but a bunch of idiot frat boys who thought they’d play weekend warrior with me.

    But this was no normal mission. When we have tag-alongs we put them to the test. Today? Well, today was a hunt. Lifting my M-16 I used the scope to see what noise had them spooked. A lycan. A large male.

    If we were successful, and we always were, my team would have him in their sights as well, and we’d have him bagged and tagged. I checked on the idiots behind me. Could they be any louder? Rolling my eyes, I held up a fist, instructing them to stop. Then I pointed. Each fumbled his binoculars in haste, but I heard gasps as they saw the lycan drop.

    We’d gotten him.

    1. Whoa! Great tale, Laurie! :D I enjoyed it. :)

  20. Bugger... looks like I missed it ... damn being at work and the whole time zone difference thing. Oh well, the prompt line was a funny one and there wer some cracking responses.

    I'll make sure next week I am more organised


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