Thursday, May 2, 2013

#ThursThreads - The Challenge That Ties Tales Together - Week 69


Welcome back to the Weird, the Wild, & the Wicked, and #ThursThreads, the Challenge that Ties Tales Together. Let's get started because it's Week 69, Dude! And it's Thursday again, so what should you be doing? Writing #flashfiction, that's what! Welcome to Week 69 of #ThursThreads, the challenge that ties tales together. Need the rules? Read on!

Here's how it works:
  • The prompt is a line from the previous week's winning tale.
  • The prompt can appear ANYWHERE in your story and is included in your word count.
Rules to the Game:
  • This is a Flash Fiction challenge, which means your story must be a minimum of 100 words, maximum of 250.
  • Incorporate the prompt as written anywhere into your story (included in your word count).
  • Post your story in the comments section of this post
  • Include your word count (or be excluded from judging)
  • Include your Twitter handle or email (so we know how to find you)
  • The challenge is open 7 AM to 7 PM Pacific Time
  • The winner will be announced on Friday, depending on how early the judge gets up. ;)
How it benefits you:
  • You get a nifty cool badge to display on your blog or site (because we're all about promotion - you know you are!)
  • You get instant recognition of your writing prowess on this blog!
  • Your writing colleagues shall announce and proclaim your greatness on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus

Our Judge for Week 69:

Firefighter, Dinosaur Museum board member, and Hot Mojave Knight, Scott Roahrig.

So now your #ThursThreads Challenge, tying tales together.

The Prompt:

“You have got to be kidding me.”

All stories written herein are the property (both intellectual and physical) of the authors. Now, away with you, Flash Fiction Fanatics, and show us your #ThursThreads. Good luck! :)


  1. Wow, you don't mess around with 69 do you? Hello, Scott. *waves*

    Darlene’s high heels clicked on the floor as she paced the small room. The man bound to the pommel horse bore bright red ass cheeks, but Darlene had set aside her flail. She’d chosen the lighter weapon while she purged some of her anger.
    “You have got to be kidding me,” she muttered, still not calm enough to return to her partner. “Blatant, belligerent… Simon!” she snapped and his head came up, turning to look over his shoulder as much as he could. “Why?”
    His head dropped again. “I had a couple of drinks. I…I wasn’t thinking straight.”
    Theirs was a closed relationship. He wasn’t supposed to be going home with other men or women, but he had also been unable to keep it from her. That was good. It showed he trusted her, even if he disobeyed her.
    She picked up the flail again, her arm still aching slightly from the last lashing she’d given him. Setting it down again, she took up another instrument instead.
    “You will wear this until you return. It will come out only once a day for you to empty your bowels. You will return here on Friday.”
    Simon trembled under Darlene’s hand as she rammed the plug into place with a little more force than necessary. Her anger was still getting the better of her.
    “Yes, Mistress.”
    Releasing his bonds in a quick tug she ordered him to leave. His disappointment and remorse were obvious. “I will forgive, Simon. In time.”

    248 words @angelicadawson

  2. “You know, the girls have been outside for a while now…”

    I glanced at my husband Jacoby, as he looked out into our front yard, worried. “So? They love being outside and if something was wrong, they’d have come in by now. We’re seven miles north of town in the boondocks; they’re fine.”

    “It’s been three hours. Our girls usually break into a fight after the first 45 minutes. You sure you don’t want to come check on them with me?”

    I bolted to my feet as Jacoby laughed at me. The sun was shining, it was a warm spring day and he was right: I didn’t hear any shouting out there. It’s not that the girls hate each other, but they fight like siblings do.

    Hustling outside after my husband, we both stopped short when we got to the porch steps.

    “Hi daddies!” Eliza waved at us, an old serving spoon in her hand. She and her sister Priscilla were caked in mud, and the garden hose was pumping water into a trench. It was shallow, but it started at their sandbox and snacked through the yard in a loop back to the sandbox.

    “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I muttered, before I burst out laughing.

    Jacoby dissolved into laughter beside me as our children looked at us. “You’re not mad?” Cilla asked, holding another old serving spoon.

    “Yes…no,” I said, still laughing. “But you have to help fill this back in and plant new grass.”

    250 words

  3. He pulled her backwards silently, into the storeroom that housed various costumes and props, then into the utility closet at the end of the room. Without removing the hand from her mouth, her captor turned her around and pushed her against the back wall of the closet, closing the door behind him so that they were packed in tightly.

    She stomped on his foot and struggled.

    “Elizabeth Sutton,” he whispered sternly, holding her tighter. “I need you to be very calm, right now. I need you to understand that you are in danger and I am going to protect you.”

    She started to struggle again but he held her firmly. “Hold still.”

    Elizabeth’s heart beat heavily in her chest. She was thoroughly confused by the current situation but for some reason felt safer in the closet than outside of it. She tried to distinguish her captor; there was something familiar about him. The low light from the hall shone through the air slits in the door behind him so she could only see an outline of him, his face was in shadows. There was something familiar in the way that his hair stood up, but where were the thick rimmed glasses?


    He must have seen or sensed the recognition in her eyes because he tightened his grip. “Shhhh”, he said.

    “Frank?” She whispered. “You have got to be kidding me.”

    “Actually, it’s Alec. And what in the bloody hell are you doing here tonight?”

    245 words @KayPhoenix_

  4. Kane was a rugged man, chosen for his dogged stubbornness, Miranda was a looker chosen for her charms. The negotiations had lasted 12 hours but a truce had been made. The Lycan’s would surrender the city in exchange the Vampires would no longer feed south of the river.

    Miranda’s scent had distracted Kane, he knew it was forbidden but he craved a taste. Kane was no weak mortal to be trifled with yet Miranda found herself desiring something particularly male about this animal.
    There had been no words of affection, or even small talk. They were supposed to go their separate ways but Kane had taken Miranda’s hand and lead her to his room, and now here they were naked his face buried in her sex, his cock swollen upon her dangerous lips, they rolled and wrestled consuming the forbidden fruit of the other, he thrust and she moaned, she sucked and he groaned. A thousand years of war set aside in one blistering moment of intense passion.

    As his tongue delved inside the cold vampire flesh she came for him in a spectacular quiver, his cock reacted to her shivering perfection with a burst of warm fluid down her throat her finger nails dug into his ass as he whimpered like the dog he was and then nature took its course. Her fangs pierced his tenderness.
    “You have got to be kidding me!” he raged.
    He bore his own teeth and the 1000 year battle raged once again.

    249 words

  5. Title: Reassessment – a tale of Shadow Group Earth
    Author: J.M. Mendur

    I put down my coffee as a cold shudder ran up my spine. “You have got to be kidding me.”

    “Nope,” she said. “Once we found that the Luciferine Brotherhood was responsible, we dropped everything else to hunt down every last one of them. When the other Shadow Groups lost their only safe means of dealing with each other, they couldn’t figure out how to replace us fast enough to prevent what came next. They lost control of the world they tried to rule.”

    “The Great Depression,” I said, my voice barely registering above the din of the café on the Champs-Élysées. “World War II.”

    She remained silent, letting me work through all of the implications myself.

    “Millions dead of starvation, preventable disease and despair in the Depression,” I whispered. I looked around at the happy, carefree tourists. “Sixty million in the war that followed. All because of the death of one person.”

    Her face went completely still, her voice colder than the marble of a tomb. “One person who was sacrificed to Hell by vicious, power mad men with no sense of honor. One person, her soul lost for eternity. One of *ours*.” She took a sip from her own coffee. When she spoke again, her voice was back to its normal, rich tones. “Now you know why the others fear the vengeance of the Travellers.”

    I very carefully placed my napkin on the *right* side of my coffee cup to call off the assassin.

    247 words
    Author’s note: Shadow Group Earth is a parallel Earth I created whose history can actually be explained by the actions of conspiracies and “Shadow Groups”. As soon as I think I’m good enough, I’ll start writing their novels. This snippet should give you a small idea of what it will be like.

  6. The traffic was stopped. It was a traffic jam. “Damn!” I was going to be late. Very late. I grabbed my cell, called work, let them know. And I sat in my car, surrounded by hundreds of other people sitting in their cars. All of us, waiting. A couple of people got out of their cars, standing by them, craning their necks, trying to see what the problem was, why we were all stopped. We were far enough back it was useless for them to try.

    We sat there. Not moving. Five minutes. Ten. Fifteen. Twenty. “You have got to be kidding me,” I thought, shaking my head. “Nothing? In twenty minutes?” At the thirty minute mark, I turned on the radio to see if there was any traffic news.

    “Police are reporting a major sinkhole formed in the intersection of Flank Road and Thomas Boulevard, swallowing 12 cars, the traffic lights, and the entire intersection. They are advising everyone to avoid the area.”

    A sinkhole? “You have got to be kidding me. This only happens in, like, Florida!”

    The cars in the distance started to vanish. Then the closer ones. “Finally!” I thought. Then the cars closer started to vanish as the ground beneath them disappeared. “You have got to be kidding me!” I screamed, as the ground beneath my car vanished, and I fell into the sinkhole from hell.

    231 Words

  7. “You have got to be kidding me; you’re not going to do that?”
    “I am.”
    “Adrianna, can’t you let this go?” Nicolai asked.
    “Sorry I can’t. You know I can’t they mocked me and try to destroy me. I can’t help it if I still look twelve.”
    “They’re just bullies.”
    “And bullies always get away with their nonsense, but not this time. This time they picked the wrong girl.”
    “But Adrianna...”
    “Don’t try to stop me.”
    “They’d be missed if you killed them all in your fury.”
    “No one would miss them.”
    “Someone would.”
    “They’re worthless.”
    “They are and not worthy of your fury. What would killing them teach them?”
    “Nothing they’d be dead.”
    “Is there not another way?”
    “Don’t get mad get even.”
    “Do onto them as they did onto you.”
    “I guess that’s better than draining them all. But I’ll still be peckish.”
    “I’ll find you something to eat. One touch on my computer and this goes viral.”
    “What goes viral Nicolai?” Adrianna asked, then looking at the computer, she touched the button and launched the video.
    “Payback’s a bitch,” Nicolai concluded.
    Adrianna smiled, her enemies would now be vanquished. The digital age wasn’t such a bad thing after all, even for an age challenged vampire like her.
    212 words

    1. I don't recommend this it is a crime but then this is a story.

  8. Hi, Scott! Can't wait to meet you at Hot Mojave Knights!

    “You have got to be kidding me. Your brother? Dude. That’s fucked up.” Sean Donaldson, the big explosives expert spoke everyone’s thoughts aloud.

    Rudek glared at the Wolves ranged around him. Ian McIntire, their leader, watched him with a nonchalance born of natural leadership and absolute confidence. Wrapping his iron will around his fury, Rudy clamped down on the wolf pacing furiously just beneath the surface of his skin.

    “I am going.”

    A flicker of sympathy softened Mac’s expression. “You should stay, Rudek.”

    “I can do nothing here.”

    “She’s your mate.”

    “Who was shot by your mate.” Remorse radiated from the other Wolf, clogging Rudy’s nostrils. He swallowed the anger and regret choking him. “I must finish this. Once and for all.” His gaze lingered on each of the men. They had rescued him once, lifetimes ago. He survived, despite his wish to die. Fate now brought him full circle—from his homeland to this Louisiana bayou, still at the mercy of Mac and his military team of werewolves.

    “This can’t be personal.”

    Rudy chuckled—a dry, mirthless sound. “But it is. As you well know.” He lifted one shoulder in a negligent shrug. “My brother betrayed our kind. He has tried to kill me for the last time. To finish this, I will send him to hell.”

    “Then let’s do it.” Mac issued the order.

    Sean’s reckless grin lit up his expression. “It’s shake-n-bake and I’m gonna help.”


    239 words

  9. “Oh, I saw the package.” Key’s amused voice reached my ears as I stepped out of the shower, fire racing to my cheeks before rushing south.

    Package. I knew this euphemism. What it lacked in subtlety, Key’s husky tone more than compensated for. She made the word sound like an invitation.

    “It’s huge.”

    Two words and she reduced me to a haze of desire as I checked to be certain I was covered. The bathroom door remained ajar, but not enough to give her an easy view of me. What had she seen? Curious, I opened the door wide.

    “And by “huge” I mean, how do you fit the thing in your pants?”

    The towel wrapped around my hips tented at the provocative words. I shifted my stance to hide the proof of her effect on me. Key had her cell phone pinned between her shoulder and ear.

    “Seriously, I won’t be able to zip my jeans.” Her hair tossed from side to side as she shook her head. “Dio, no. A dress? You have got to be kidding me.” She tossed the phone down with a groan and fell back on the covers. “How do I even get into this thing?”

    Next to her rested an article of clothing I knew well. Dark green satin, laces in matching ribbon. My hands fisted at the thought of lacing her up, the corset lifting her breasts like a bound gift.

    “I believe I can help, love.” And oh, I wanted to.

    250 words

  10. Hands Off

    Tansy was counting down the hours until she could get off her feet and out of the skimpy outfit she was required to wear while serving drinks. Her boss called it a uniform, but Tansy didn’t think anything that was quasi-illegal by local decency laws qualified for that title.

    She ducked down behind the bar to grab a fresh bar rag, and when she stood again the atmosphere of the place had gone strangely quiet. Outside these walls silence may be golden, but in here silence only meant one thing, trouble.

    This time the trouble was blonde, wearing a few strips of strategically placed black leather, thigh-high boots and a scowl that should have made a sane man run. Unfortunately at least half the current clientele were lunatics and some of them even had papers to prove it.

    “You have got to be kidding me,” Tansy muttered.

    The blonde headed straight for Tansy and every man in the place watched her with lust in their eyes. Tansy didn’t see the ass grab, but she saw the aftermath as a blade flicked out and Big Tony went down to his knees, holding his injured hand and bleeding all over the damned floor.

    “Hands off,” the blonde snarled. “I’m here to see my baby, not get groped.”

    Tansy already had a shot of tequila poured and she pushed it towards the new arrival with a sigh. “Mom, I love you, but we talked about this. You have to stop stabbing the customers.”

    250 words

  11. Rain struggled against the ropes tying her, but she had little strength left. “Jozsef? Are you all right? What was that light?”

    Silence greeted her and fear surged through her gut. “Jozsef? God, please answer me.”

    Rain strained her ears to catch any sound beyond her field of vision, but only the sound of her thundering heart filled her hearing. Tears started in her eyes. Had she only dreamed his rescue? Had Heath gotten the better of him and hurt him? Don’t be ridiculous. Jozsef’s a ghost. Heath can’t touch him…right?

    Whimpering, she writhed in her bindings, using the last of her strength to tear her hands free, but the ropes held. Slumping against the workout bench, Rain gave into her despair. Please, whichever deity is listening, bring Jozsef back to me. Please don’t let him die. I love him.

    A sound different from her heart grated against her ears and she froze. A male groan filtered through the stale are and Rain turned her head, frantically trying to see through her swollen eye. Heath is still here? Oh, you have got to be kidding me!

    Someone rose to their knees beside her and she pulled away as far as her ropes would allow.

    “No, no, leave me alone, Heath. I don’t want—”

    “Peace, Szivem. Heath is gone, just as I promised.” Jozsef’s face appeared and he gave her a tired smile as he tugged at the ropes. His voice sounded different. More solid and grounded. "You're safe now."

    250 ineligible #WIP500 words

  12. Hey there, Scott. That's quite a hammer you have there. :)

    The tires of a black Shelby screeched to a halt at her feet. The car could only belong to the one person Julia avoided like the plague. She crossed her arms as the window opened.

    "Get in," Roarke growled.

    She swallowed hard, ignoring the piercing blue eyes that read her every thought. "What part of 'I never want to see you again' didn't you understand last night?"

    His gaze flicked to the rear view mirror before he yanked the stick shift into park, slipped on a pair of sunglasses and opened the driver's side door. Within a few strides he closed the distance between them. She straightened her spine as he firmly grabbed her shoulders. With a sweeping glance at the bystanders on the sidewalk outside of the hotel, he leaned in, his breath warm against her ear. "I know I'm not your favorite person but you're in danger. Get in the car now or I'll put you over my shoulder in front of these nice people."

    "You have to be kidding me." Julia considered her options as a reflection of a black SUV swept over the surface of Roarke's sunglasses.

    "Get in the car, Jules!" he shouted, pulling a gun from his jacket.

    She swiftly climbed into the car as bullets sounded behind her. Roarke pointed his gun at the SUV's tires and returned fire before sliding into the drivers seat. Speeding away, he left the SUV behind.

    "I'm not kidding," he whispered, covering her hand with his palm.

    250 words

  13. “How are you celebrating finishing your probation?” Sergeant Cole asked Adam as they walked up the gravel drive.

    “Not sure it’s a celebration; meeting the in-laws tonight.” He rang the door bell and almost immediately the front door opened. “You have got to be kidding me” Adam muttered as his eyes were assaulted by the woman in front of him; a skimpy negligee with an ample bosom spilling out.
    Adam thought it a wind up but soon dismissed this when his skipper looked just as bemused.

    Trying to take the report was impossible as the woman seemed more interested in him rather than her stolen belongings as she ruffled his hair playfully and flirted outrageously.

    “Do you know how old I am?” she asked teasingly. Adam shook his head, looking down at his notebook.“Fifty-eight!” She twirled round, purposefully falling into Adam. Sergeant Cole sniggered. “My secret is young men like you.” She winked.

    Finally getting what he needed, Adam left feeling flustered and very red in the face. It wasn’t a call he would be allowed to forget in a hurry and it was with relief when his shift was finally over.

    “Meeting your parents will be a breeze after the day I've had” admitted Adam, walking into the restaurant. Lisa smiled, kissing him affectionately. “You have got to be kidding me” Adam uttered for the second time that day as Lisa’s mother blanched.

    “Mum 'n' dad were burgled today.” Lisa offered innocently.

    “I know” was all Adam could say.



    1. oops; total idiot, not concentrating; twitter is @Lizzie_Loodles. Sorry. I think the pic of the fireman fried my brain. He's lush! x xxxx

  14. The Commute

    Most days I’m convinced that the universe is out to get me, and today was no exception. First my car wouldn’t start so I was forced to take the train to work. I trudged up to the station only to find that a signal fault further up the line meant that they were being replaced by buses.

    The indifferent staff repeatedly apologised for any inconvenience caused as the flood of commuters were directed toward a line of waiting vehicles.

    I queued for what felt like an age before finally being allowed aboard, only to find that all the seats had been taken. Looks like I’d be standing for the next hour or so.

    The bus finally began its lurching trek through the streets, with me enjoying the delicate bouquet of a fellow passenger’s armpit, when a twitchy person in the seat beside me stood up, gun in hand.

    Why didn’t I just call in sick today?

    “Everybody down!” he bellowed.
    Nobody moved. Not surprising really since we were packed in like sardines.

    “I said get down.” He called again, firing a shot into the roof to punctuate his words. All but deafening me in the process.

    It was, quite frankly, the final straw. “You have got to be kidding me.”

    I channelled every ounce of my frustration and lashed out. First I snatched the gun from the would-be hijacker’s sweat slick hands, then hammered the butt onto his head, knocking him out cold.

    And I couldn’t even hear the applause.

    250 words

  15. "You have got to be kidding me, Jake." Callie stared increduously at the man standing in front of her. "You're actually making me the bad guy in all of this?"
    Jake stepped closer to her and raised his voice in frustration. "What do you expect me to do?! Welcome him with open arms and act as if there is nothing at all between us?!"
    "No, of course not! But..."
    "But WHAT?"
    Callie jumped back at his sudden outburst. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down.
    "Jake....he is my fiancee, and I expect you to at least give him a chance."
    Jake shook his head and began to walk away.
    This was the last straw for Callie. She yelled at his retreating form.
    "Fine! Go! That's what you do best, isn't it?!"
    Jake stopped, trying to decide whether or not to even comment back. After a second he began walking again...slowly and surely out of Callie's life.

    162 words @bookwormattack

  16. “You have got to be kidding me,” Jake said. He clicked buttons on his controller. Nothing.

    There was a knock at the apartment door.

    “Have you looked outside?” Darlene said. She walked over to the window, in the dark apartment and opened the curtains.

    Atlanta was dark.

    “Well, shit,” Jake said. “Aren’t even any car lights. Everything is out. Least we can see the stars.”

    “What is that really bright star?” Darlene asked, pointing. “Or stars, I should say."

    “Damn,” Jake said, “I could swear I can see them moving.”


    The speaker in the missile silo crackled.

    “Bravo-six, this is Delta-three-zulu. How copy, over?”

    “Delta-three-zulu, this is Bravo six. Good copy, over.”

    “Bravo-six, be advised, we are monitoring an atmospheric incursion by unidentified craft.”

    Specialist Davis looked at the other soldier in the control room of the silo.

    “Delta-three-zulu, say again all last, over.”

    Bravo-six, I say again, be advised, we are monitoring an incursion by an unidentified craft. Go to red alert, I say again, go to red alert, over.”

    Davis’s face screwed up as he listened to the radio transmission and looked again at the two other soldiers.
    Private Henderson made a jacking-off motion with one hand and Specialist Davis shook his head, smiling.

    “Delta-three-zulu, authenticate. Golf-tango-zulu-one-seven-niner.”

    “Bravo-six, I authenticate, Alpha-two-delta-six-echo-foxtrot.”

    “Authentication confirmed.” Both soldiers were suddenly all business. “Delta-three-zulu, please advise.”

    “Bravo-six, go to red alert. I say again, go to red alert. Prepare — ”



    The lights in the silo flickered and went dark.

    @redshirt6 - word count 249 (ms word is counting the *** as a word so it may show 250)


    “Civilizations are born, live, and die across the worlds and throughout time. These events transpire on such a phenomenal scale they are beyond the ken of the populace. Yet there are we who understand the value of considering those societies preceding ours—and seek to better understand their evolution and eventual fall so as not to repeat their mistakes.”

    The pitch was too familiar, though to Neville’s credit he never tired of giving it. Brett, on the other hand, wished that his clearance was high enough to come through the Dark Way instead of having to take the main entrance past the Orientation Hall every time. Ordinarily he’d be back in the field by now, but this time the nerds wanted time to analyze his last discovery before sending him back.

    Besides, even muscle head Brett wanted to know what he’d brought back. Generally his interest as an Excavator was the thrill of braving lost and potentially dangerous ruins, but this time even he knew the import of his discovery. He found it right at the heart of the latest ruin—a civilization apparently ended over night, without any indication of how or why. Even he had to know what this tablet said.

    “Alright,” Brett dropped his arm heavily around the shoulders of the closest nerd. “Last time you’d decoded ‘self’, ‘other’ and ‘requirement’. Do we know what it says yet?”

    “Ah, well, we’ve been rechecking… But it seems to roughly translate as ‘You have got to be kidding me.’”

    250 words

  18. The pungent smell of death punched Max in the face. This was definitely the place.

    Flipping on his flashlight, he headed down the tunnel towards what he knew was going to be another body. About a hundred yards down, the tunnel widened into a large room. Sodium lamps buzzed at regular intervals on the walls, casting a dim, hazy, yellow light over everything.

    He found what he was looking for, propped up against the far wall. Dead body, tied up, but with no visible physical injuries. And that stupid, glassy eyed grin. That’s how they found them all, dead as a doornail, sitting there in euphoric repose, wide-eyed and smiling. That grin scared the crap out him the first time he saw it, now it just made him want to be sick.

    Max called back up the tunnel, “Get the M.E. down here, we got another one.”

    A few minutes later the silver-haired Orange County medical examiner stood hovering over the body.

    “You have got to be kidding me. How the hell are we going to get him out of here?”

    The sheer size of the victim was impressive, fake tan and over-sized biceps screamed body builder.

    “C’mon doc, this makes eighteen. Find me something.”

    Max climbed the ladder up and out of the maintenance tunnel and back out onto the street. Eighteen bodies in six months, no leads. He closed his eyes, and for the first time in his ten year career, prayed to God for a clue.

    250 words

  19. #ThursThreads is now CLOSED. Thank you to everyone who wrote this week and I hope to see you next week. :)


Comments are on moderation, so they'll become visible once I've read them. Words, words, words. I love them. Have you a few to lend?

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.