Sunday, September 23, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday - The Beltane Witch - Waiting to Inhale


Happy Six Sentence Sunday, dear readers. Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to read my snippet. I really appreciate your time and your comments.

Today I'm offering more sentences from The Beltane Witch. In this six, Sabrina Foxglove, resident witch, has just refused Darius Winterbourne 's request to be the performer of the Beltane rituals. When he refused to listen to her objections, she turned to leave the coffee shop, but the waitress dumped hot coffee on her and Sabrina tripped over a low table. She hit her head and knocked the wind out of her.

Sabrina moaned and writhed away, batting futilely at the other woman’s hands as her head began to swim from the lack of oxygen.
“Breathe, Lady Foxglove.” The rich voice penetrated her addled brain and she looked up into emerald green eyes filled with concern.
What did he say?
“I said breathe; remember to inhale.”
           I can’t...Sabrina’s mind raised the white flag and surrendered to the darkness.

Sabrina is not having a good day. There are several good authors on the Six Sentence Sunday list. A few of my favorites are Karla Doyle, Zee Monodee, Goran Zidar, Sarah Ballance, Silver James, and Claire Ashgrove. Thank you for stopping by and happy reading! :)

18 comments:

  1. Heh - love the "raised the white flag" bit.

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  2. Oh, I hope she's okay. Great description of her slipping into the darkness! :)

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  3. You have a wonderful way with words! Loved this.

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  4. I loved the raising the white flag bit. Great description of the overall scene.

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  5. Nicely done. You pack a lot of the undercurrent into this six.

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  6. Great decsription of her passing out, especially the white flag.

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  7. I love this! What a fantastic six this is. I hooked!

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  8. I wonder what she'll wake to...and where.

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  9. Oh, Siobhan! Is she really hearing him in her head, or is she that addled? LOVE the speculation you create with this six. Well done!

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  10. I love the way you described her blacking out. Fantastic!

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  11. Nice description, but did she hit more than her head, to have the wind knocked out of her?

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  12. Love the way you've described her falling unconscious. Well done!

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  13. 'I can’t...Sabrina’s mind raised the white flag and surrendered to the darkness.' Love this line because of the contrast of colors.

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  14. It's not my idea of a good visit to a coffee shop. I like your use of the white flag, very clever.

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  15. intense six! The description is great.

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  16. I love the look into this moment. It's an intimate moment--when you're near unconsciousness, and someone is talking to you. And I love her name!

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  17. Can he hear her thoughts? This is so well written I feel as if I'm there!

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Comments are on moderation, so they'll become visible once I've read them. Words, words, words. I love them. Have you a few to lend?

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