Week 32 of #ThursThreads had some great tales and many new folks joined us! Thanks to all who entered this week. I'm honored to see all of you and read your stories. And it was great to have some new "faces" join us along with our returning regulars. Great thanks also goes to judge David A Ludwig for reading all the tales.
Entries:
- Robin Abess | @Angelique_Rider
- Theresa Breaux | @theresabreaux
- Sheilagh Lee | @SweetSheil
- Cameron Lawton | @CameronLawton
- Elaine Hillson | @tollykit
- Jeffrey Hollar | @Klingorengi
- Olivia Grambo | @KelseyPotter13
- Charles W Jones | @ChuckWesJ
- Lisa McCourt Hollar | @jezri1
- Goran Zidar | @gzidar
- Mark Ethridge | @LurchMunster
- Martha Bechtel
- @LupusAnthropos
- Cara Michaels | @caramichaels
- Nellie Batz | @solimond
- Jason McKinney | @jason_mckinney
Winners Announcement:
Honorable Mentions
Theresa Breaux | @theresabreaux
David says: Great opening hook! Feeds
right into the tension and mystery of the piece! The vague circumstances,
likely very closely tied to said ‘overdose in a motel bathroom’, and enigmatic
voice are great. I would definitely read the rest of this story to learn more
about both the narrator and the mysterious benefactor. I especially want to
know more about the sorts of favors a being capable of giving this sort of
second chance would be interested in.
The last 4 words
are perfect for summing up the piece and giving the reader direction after they
leave it. Great imagery, great voice and a really compelling scenario are all
so excellently presented; you definitely earned your honorable mention. You
build and maintain a consistent atmosphere with this piece, with a lot of
clouds and shadows, then leave us with hope at the end—and that is beautiful.
Charles W Jones | @ChuckWesJ
David says: Wow… I don’t have a lot to
say to this one, you really nailed my concept of love and that is a lot of
points right there. I also kind of dig self-sacrifice for reasons I don’t feel
like analyzing, so his insistence on a life of strife and suffering in order to
be with “Her” is incredibly beautiful to me. Lines like “the cost of it is far
too much” and “in that short time, I have everything I need for eternity” are
exactly what I love about this one. Great capture of the character, the woman
granting his incarnation, and the deep feelings around an entire life to be
lived. I guess I did find something to say!
This one gets one of the coveted honorable mentions in very large part because it spoke to me so personally. I don’t know if it has the same effect on others who read it, but for me this is a story about someone who has his priorities so perfectly in order even angels are taken by surprise. That’s powerful.
This one gets one of the coveted honorable mentions in very large part because it spoke to me so personally. I don’t know if it has the same effect on others who read it, but for me this is a story about someone who has his priorities so perfectly in order even angels are taken by surprise. That’s powerful.
Nellie Batz | @solimond
David says: Ooo! A contract killing
witch and her supernatural cat familiar, or something like that. I love the
sense of mysticism and weight to the old woman contrasted with the nonchalant
relaxation of the sunbathing cat, which in proper feline fashion was ready to
leap straight from pleasure to attack. Quick, simple, but very much in my genre
and well executed. The cat is like a metaphor for the whole story, so
appropriately you create a very clear image of the creature. I like it. In fact, I love it.
This is definitely an honorable mention, because I have never seen a better
‘old woman and her cat’ scene than this. It’s got all the great things about a
real old woman and her cat, plus the mysticism that takes it from endearingly
accurate to awesome.
Week 32 Winner
David says: Great voice in your
characters, I’m already smiling by the time the first speaker responds to the
beleaguered administrator. Then his vindictive assignation of the problem
client to Hebrew slave gave me very morbid joy. I’m left wanting more, it
sounds like an amazing program/company/whatever-it-is with so many rich story
possibilities I’m actually salivating a little. Perfect ending, in that the one
client’s story is now fixed but there’s always more to come. It does make me
curious whether the administrator is normally more accommodating and the one
client just pushed him too far, or if he generally screws the patrons—and how
much power he has to get away with that sort of behavior.
Picking an actual
winner was extremely difficult after I narrowed the field to my top four.
Ultimately what I feel gives this story an edge over the others is the infinite
variety of additional stories that can be spun out from the seeds laid in this
one—all without sacrificing anything in terms of completeness or
self-containment of this particular story. You’ve got what I consider a
writer’s gold-mine with your History Holidays company. I think the runners-up
had stronger imagery, but there’s something here that I just want to keep
coming back to, want to pick up and play with myself. I’d almost call this one
proof-of-concept.
Your choice.
“Oo! Yeah! A pirate! A female pirate and that cute one with the headband falls in love with me, that one, all Black Pearl stuff, yeah.”
The administrator sighed and asked, “Is that really the story you wish?” His stylus was poised over the boxes on the screen. “Are you sure this time?”
“No! No – a Viking shield maiden! That's it! A Valkyrie. I wanna be a Valkyrie!”
Another deep sigh and the administrator repeated, “Is that really the story you wish? We have been through most periods of the human race's history. I must remind you that when you go, you are there. You cannot come back until the end of the holiday. If you become ill or are killed, it will neutralise your time in that sphere.”
“No! That Jane Heyer gal – Mr Dorchester's mad wife. That stuff!”
“Your time is running out, Miss. Would you decide please?”
“Pirate!”
The Administrator smiled and pressed the squares marked Egypt, Hebrew slave.
Enjoy, he thought, enjoy building your pyramid. The next client swam into view on the screen.
“History Holidays – how can I help you?”
Congratulations Cameron, Theresa, Chuck, and Nellie! Claim your badges and display them with pride. You certainly earned it! :)
Pass
on the great news on Twitter, Facebook, Google Plus,
shiny mirrors, Morse Code, and signal flags. Check out all
the stories here and I hope to see you all back next week for #ThursThreads. :)
Seeing as I loved all the other entries and I wouldn't have liked to have been the one making the choices I'm extremely honoured. Thank you all very much.
ReplyDeleteThis is better than a bag of sweeties!
Thank You! Thank You! I may tell the whole tale for you, David, in a short story!
ReplyDeleteJudging is a lot of work with such awesome stories to choose from, so I wouldn't want to do it too often, but it is a great honor.
ReplyDeleteMay be late to mention this, but as part of my process I take notes on all of the entries. So even if yours wasn't honored you can contact me for my notes if you want.
Probably too late to mention that, being a week later.