Welcome back to Six Sentence Sunday! Thank you for taking time out of your busy Sunday to stop by my blog. I really appreciate it and your comments.
Today I'm offering a snippet from my newest WIP, an as yet untitled romantic suspense about Detective Cassie Tucker and P.I. Jack Pierce. In this snippet, Jack has asked her to marry him after he walked out seven years earlier. She told him he's too late and he comes back with something like "what better offers have you had lately?". She throws an egg at him.
“Fuck you, Jack!” The egg hit the wall
behind his head as he ducked. “You think you’re the only man who’s asked me to
marry in the last seven years?” She snorted derisively. “You think you’re the only woman? Step in line,
jackass.”
Good on her! I LOVE Cassie's response. Yay for her!
ReplyDeleteGreat six, Siobhan :D
Good for her. Men and women, that should get him thinking.
ReplyDeleteYeah, he's definitely not doing this right. (FYI, I was confused by the last sentence. It's unclear who's speaking.) :)
ReplyDeleteIt's all from her point of view. If it was Jack, I would have made a new paragraph. The next line after this has his response. Thanks for letting me know, though. :)
DeleteI love her reaction, and also agree with Monica, it's a bit confusing at the end. A short dialogue tag should be an easy fix. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jess. It's all from her point of view. The next sentence (#7) is Jack's response to her remark about women asking her to marry them in a new paragraph. I might change it to say "You think women haven't asked me?" :)
DeleteHaha! Great line! I agree it's a bit confusing until you explain that she says both lines (GREAT comeback) but it probably works better in context. Thanks for sharing! New follower, btw. :)
ReplyDeleteTo bad her aim was off! That is not how to when back some, that's for sure. Definite buy from the sounds of it. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteIntense for sure. Nice share.
ReplyDeleteI liked your six sentence sunday. I just posted mines check it out. http://www.soniawrites.com/2012/07/six-sentence-sunday-brushing-teeth.html
ReplyDeleteYou always do great conflict. Good 6.
ReplyDelete*Ducking the flying food.* I think I'm sensing some tension in the air. :)
ReplyDeleteLike the tension but agree that when she says "You think you're the only woman" it's automatic to assume that it's Jack speaking. I liked that, but now I can't work out why she would say that. Does she swing both ways?
ReplyDelete