#ThursThreads - Week 127 - Winners

Week 127 of #ThursThreads had some terrific tales. Happy Independence Day to all my American writers! I'm honored to see all of the returning writers and read your stories. Thank you for coming back again and again to write and for helping me celebrate these years of flash. Great thanks to AJ Nuest for judging this week. Be sure to check out the #ThursThreads #flashfiction group on FB to keep up with news, etc.

Entries:

• Doris O'Connor | @mamaD8
• Sheilagh Lee | @SweetSheil 
• Cate Derham | @Cate_Derham
• Teresa Cypher | @Teresa_Cypher
• Veronica Jorden | @RevolutionaryVJ
• Anna Lund | @AnnaLund2011
• Siobhan Muir | @SiobhanMuir
• Kaylee Hamelink
• Sandi Layne | @sandyquill
• Kelly Heinen | @Aightball
• Louisa Bacio | @LouisaBacio

AJ says: I want to say that I had a REALLY hard time deciding, especially for the overall winner. There were some really great entries here and one of the honorable mentions was tied for first until I walked around a thought about it for a long time.

Winners Announcement:

Honorable Mentions

 

Doris O'Connor | @mamaD8

AJ says: Doris O'Connor did a great job with scene setting and showing the young man sitting at the table. I also really liked the internal dialogue from the POV character. We got to watch the scene unfold from her POV and it was done very well. I felt like I was watching the guy right along with her.

Sandi Layne | @sandyquill

AJ says: Sandi Layne did a fantastic job with putting me inside her character. I was riding that bike right along with him. I could feel the wind and speed. Awesome. Also, I loved, loved, loved the way she changed the prompt to mean something different, using it as code for "license and registration" was a stroke of brilliance. Great job.

Kelly Heinen | @Aightball

AJ says: Kel Heinan got a mention for that fantastic twist at the end. I was totally going in one direction when the brakes on slammed on and I was tossed into another reality. That takes major talent and was done really well because the first part of the story was set up so well. Nicely done!

Week 127 Winner

Veronica Jorden | @RevolutionaryVJ

AJ says: Veronica won for two reasons. Her powerful first sentence immediately put me IN the story. I could smell the cigarette smoke and was wearing the bomber jacket, could see the milling crowd, right along with her POV character. Excellent writing with no filters. Perfect. Second reason is because the ending was hilarious. Here we have this tense situation, dire circumstances, and I just had to laugh at the soldier's erroneous assumption. Great job with that.

My father’s old bomber jacket reeked of stale cigarette smoke. But with uniforms in short supply, I was thankful for the warmth the soft leather provided against the late autumn chill and zipped it up to my neck as I made my way to the end of the flight line.

As I wove through the crowd, I didn’t recognize a single face. Some were decked out in full combat uniforms; others looked like me, just regular folks in jeans and jackets like we were out for a morning stroll. The invasion had driven hundreds, if not thousands of refugees into Jessup County. Most were God-loving, law-abiding citizens, but experience had taught me that even good men will buck the law when supplies run short.

A young lieutenant stood behind a shabby desk inside an old service shed that served as the militia reporting station. His name tape read ‘Stevens.' He looked the part of a seasoned soldier, from his buzz cut down to his polished boots.

“I heard you were looking for pilots.” I said, pointing to the flyer pinned to the wall.

He smirked and gave me the once over. “And just what do you fly, darling? There aren’t any pretty, pink Barbie planes in those hangars.”

The soldier to his left looked up and I watched the recognition wash over his face. He jumped to his feet and called the small room to attention.

“Perhaps we should start again, soldier.” I said. “Colonel Elizabeth Flaherty reporting for duty.”

Congratulations Three Time Winner Veronica, Doris, Sandi, and Kelly! Don't forget to claim your badges and display them with pride. You certainly earned it!

Pass on the great news on Twitter, Facebook, Google Plus, shiny mirrors, Morse Code, and signal flags. Check out all the stories here. Thanks for stopping by and happy reading! :)

#ThursThreads - The Challenge That Ties Tales Together - Week 93

Welcome back to the Weird, the Wild, & the Wicked. Wow, this is the 501st post on my blog. WOW. We should do something to celebrate. And it's Thursday again today, so what should you be doing? Writing #FlashFiction, that's what! Welcome to Week 93 of #ThursThreads, the challenge that ties tales together. Need the rules? Read on!

Here's how it works:

• The prompt is a line from the previous week's winning tale.
• The prompt can appear ANYWHERE in your story and is included in your word count.

Rules to the Game:

• This is a Flash Fiction challenge, which means your story must be a minimum of 100 words, maximum of 250.
• Incorporate the prompt anywhere into your story (included in your word count).
• Post your story in the comments section of this post
• Include your word count (or be excluded from judging)
• Include your Twitter handle or email (so we know how to find you)
• The challenge is open 7 AM to 7 PM Pacific Time
• The winner will be announced on Friday, depending on how early the judge gets up.

How it benefits you:

• You get a nifty cool badge to display on your blog or site (because we're all about promotion - you know you are!)
• You get instant recognition of your writing prowess on this blog!
• Your writing colleagues shall announce and proclaim your greatness on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus

Our Judge for Week 93:

Beta Reader, Collaborative Editor, Designer, Marketer, Veronica Jorden.

Veronica on Facebook
FirstPage on Facebook

Veronica on Twitter
FirstPage on Twitter

In honor of the 501st blog post, I'm giving away a $5.00 Amazon giftcard to the Winner.

And now your #ThursThreads Challenge, tying tales together.

The Prompt:

“It’s beautiful, but it’s flawed.”

All stories written herein are the property (both intellectual and physical) of the authors. Now, away with you, Flash Fiction Fanatics, and show us your #ThursThreads. Good luck!

Saturday Souvenirs - Blog Hop Winner and Art

Happy Holidays to you all from the Weird, the Wild, & the Wicked. I haven't posted a Saturday Souvenirs for a few weeks because I've been desperately trying to edit an MS that has been recalcitrant (stubborn) and the Muse whines a lot about all the other stories I could be writing. lol Some authors say there is no such thing as 'the Muse', which is fine for them, but right now the motivation to edit has been at an all time low for me, so 'the Muse' ain't talking much. :P

But I do have some good news. I have to announce the winner of the Siobhan Muir tote bag full of swag for the Evernight Holiday Blog Hop. Are you ready? Don't hold your breath now...

Donna Newman

Congratulations, Dawna! Everyone else, don't worry. There's more to come. I've sent the list of you to Evernight so they can add you to the drawing for the iPad2, so stay tuned for that one. :D

Okay, on the Saturday Souvenirs. To make me happier (and the Muse as well, lol), I'm posting some of my favorite artwork, whether photos, book covers, or original art pieces by friends and family. Hopefully that will jar my motivation back to editing. :P

I love the Steampunk aspect to this mechanical eye. It would make a great story, don't you think?

Ah yes, the dragon tattoos. I'm a huge fan of ink, but dragon ink is the best. :D

Special kisses always get my attention, but these two really struck me. ;) The artwork here makes me sigh from the sensuality of it.

 

 I love line drawings, but the watercolor above is from my oldest daughter, her choice of colors grabbed my heart from the beginning. Do you see the rattlesnake? :)

I like the two covers above, not only because you can find my name associated with them, but also the images and colors the cover artist used. Plus, you can get Naughty Nibbles for FREE at Evernight Publishing! :D

This image showed up in my feed yesterday and I was struck immediately by the action, intensity, and power of it. Damn, that guy is coming for you! It made my heart flutter and wanted a copy of it, preferably signed by both the author and the artist. It's a frelling awesome image!

So hopefully I'm now inspired to go back through that story and fix it so it's worth reading. :P Thanks for stopping by. One last question: When you have something to do and no motivation to do it, what inspires you?

Copy Edit, Dammit! Guest Post from Natascha Jaffa, Editor with SPJ Editing

With self-publishing making huge headway in the publishing industry, it’s now more important than ever to make sure your manuscript is as polished as it can be. It’s competitive out there, but if your book isn’t what it should be, readers will be stuck on errors and probably not read anything else you put out there.

Not everyone in their right mind goes takes grammar classes. Sadly, I enjoyed it, which is why I became an editor. I LOVE doing copy edits. I’m not sure why, but they make me happy. However, the further in my career I get, the more I notice manuscripts, even books submitted to publishers, are riddled with errors. Perhaps this is because we haven’t learned the correct way to punctuate that dialogue or sentence or it’s because we’ve been taught incorrectly.

Well, hopefully, this post helps you.

I’ve designed this post to point out the five most common errors I see in manuscripts and examples on how to avoid them.

1. Dialogue tags. This includes, “he said”, “she asked”, “they demanded” just as examples. Dialogue tags follow a line of dialogue.

            Shown here: “Oh, baby. Oh, baby,” she said.

Now, let’s look closer.

If you have a dialogue tag (remember our examples from above), your dialogue will end with a COMMA.

            Shown here: “Oh, baby. Oh, baby,” she said.

Also note that the dialogue tag itself is LOWERCASE.

            Shown here: “Oh, baby. Oh, baby,” she said.

Now, in some cases (I hate when this happens), dialogue tags introduce dialogue.

            Shown here: She said, “Oh, baby. Oh, baby.”

Notice, however, the comma has moved. Instead of being inside the quotations, it’s now out, positioned after “said” and introducing the dialogue.

Now, in another case (this is really common), we see continuous dialogue. Let’s say you your character is addressing another character.

            Shown here: “Princess Leah,” he said, “we really should be moving.”

What’s different here? I will tell you. Since he is addressing Leah and you’ve inserted a dialogue tag, the sentence isn’t complete at the end of the tag. Therefore, a COMMA will be inserted after the tag and the rest of the dialogue will be lowercased.

2. Action between dialogue lines. Yay! One of my favorite things to do. What happens when you don’t have a dialogue tag between two continuous lines of dialogue? Let’s see. Very easy.

            Shown here: “Princess Leah,”—he turned in the direction of the approaching storm troopers—“we really should be moving.”

If you don’t have a dialogue tag, use the em-dash to signify action between your dialogues. You’ll notice there is a comma after “Leah”, still making it a direct address and that your second line of dialogue is all lowercase.

3. When to use em-dash. This thing here: —. Aside from signifying action between two lines of dialogue, where else can we use em-dash?

To interrupt dialogue of course!

If you have a character cutting someone off, don’t write, “he cut him off.” Show it with an em-dash.

            Shown here: “Harry, what are you—”

                                 “Shut up, Ron!”

BTW, if you don’t know how to make an em-dash on your computer, try this:

a.      Complete the dialogue before it gets cut off.

b.     Type two dashes (- -), one after the other.

c.      Type any letter you want after the dash, connecting of course. It will transform into a longer dash.

d.     Type space.

e.      Delete random letter.

f.      Type quotation, but please make sure it’s facing the right way! For some reason Word likes to turn this quote the opposite of where it should be. I add a period then turn the quotation around.

4. When to use ellipses. This thing here: … Blasted ellipses. Bane of my existence. This is one of the most wrongly used punctuations I come across. So, here’s a run down of when it’s appropriate to use them and one example of when to not use them.

            Use: to trail off a character’s internal thoughts. Example: I wish Natascha would edit my book… (I can!) This signifies on a dreamlike sigh at the end of the sentence.

            Use: to trail off a character’s dialogue, lost in thought for a moment. Example: “I don’t know. I just think…” She shook her head. “I just think we need to talk about this.”

            Use: to show a slight hiccup in dialogue. Example: “Are you…real?”

            DO NOT USE TO INTERRUPT DIALOGUE. Use an em-dash for abrupt interruptions like we’ve discussed.

5. Direct addressing characters. When two characters are talking to each other through dialogue, there is punctuation involved within the dialogue. One of those is the comma after a direct address.

            Shown here: “Edgar, there’s skin hanging off your bones.” (Name that movie!)

These are just a few of the copy editing errors I see. If you have them down pat, there will be less heartache in the end (and frustration), but remember: it’s nearly impossible for a single person to catch them all.

If you’re interested in learning more, contact me through the links below and I’d be more than happy to help you out and give you a quote. Have a happy edit!

--

Natascha Jaffa dedicates her experience to helping writers grow through her editing firm, SPJ Editing, which she considers the best job in the world. When she isn’t editing, you can catch her snowboarding, rock climbing, or training for her first Ragnar Relay.

She’s an active member of International Thriller Writers, National Association of Writers and Editors, Mystery Writers of America and Romance Writers of America.

She is also published in suspense and romance as Nichole Severn.

Writers can find her on Facebook, Twitter, www.spjediting.com and LinkedIn

The Queen Bitch and Pre-Published vs. Unpublished

I woke up this morning and realized I'd been rather quiet on my blog lately. But I've got a good reason. I've been working on editing - editing a story that I want to get out to my line-editing critique partner so I can submit it to an epublisher.

Speaking of epublishers, if you didn't see my news from last week, I was asked by a publisher to submit my werewolf novel, tentatively titled Queen Bitch of Callowwood, for consideration. Last week, they sent me a contract for the publication of Queen Bitch and the novel should be released next year.

I am so excited! This is a dream come true after 25 years of writing stories and hoping to be published. It didn't come without a lot of hard work and effort, particularly letting go of my words, allowing others correct the weaknesses in the story, and rewriting, rewriting, rewriting. I can't tell you how excited I feel with my first contract in hand.

This doesn't mean the hard work is over, it just means I've gotten my foot in the door. Now another editor looks over it and tells me what else I have to modify to make the story the most refined version it can be. I'm looking forward to it despite the changes that may be coming. And also, I'm looking forward to the promotion of it because "published doesn't mean read" and unless folks know the book is there, they won't read it.

So, never give up on the dream of writing. Queen Bitch is not my first completed novel; it's not even my second, but it is the best one so far and the others I've written, after much love and editing, will be out where you can read them, too. Eventually. I've certainly had some demands from some of the Six Sentence Sunday crowd for a few of them! ;)

Good writing is rewriting and and good stories are only good because they've been "peer-reviewed". Take the time and effort and it will pay off in dividends.

Keep writing, keep editing, and eventually someone will ask for your stories (only took me 25 years). ;) It's worth it and the joy you feel when someone wants it is incredible. I dressed up for the occasion.

 Well, okay, it was also Halloween, but I felt like such a star and I got to wear my elbow-length gloves and Cinderella heels.

One thing I'd like to add. If you want to be a published author; you want to make a go of this profession and you're not just dabbling in it, start referring to yourself as a "pre-published" author, rather than an "unpublished" author. It might not seem like a big difference, but mentally, the prefix "pre" sets you up with determination, while "un" suggests you might not ever make it.

Think of it this way: it worked for me. My career in the writing field shot forward after I began calling myself a "pre-published" author. Good luck in all your writing and never give up; never surrender! Happy reading! :)

Writing, a Solitary Pursuit - or is it?

I've heard people say that writing is a solitary pursuit. You do it in front of a computer or notebook for hours at a time, you don't talk to anyone except the imaginary voices in your head, and you don't let anyone read what you've written until its done.

Hello, that sounds like most ordinary 9-5 jobs!

But while all of that is true, writing isn't actually all that solitary. Or it doesn't have to be.

This weekend I spent a lot of time with my author friends around town. We hobknobbed about the national RWA meeting and what changes we wanted to see in our own local RWA chapter. We traded editing and writing techniques.

Another friend was having trouble getting a character to be more sympathetic to readers and we talked about it until she was able to find the missing ingredients. Another friend helped me build a website, here, which is so important for every author these days. And Mr. SM helped me find how one story I'm writing, The Navy's Ghost, fit into the paranormal world I've created for all my other stories.

Writing might be a solitary pursuit when you're actually doing it, but the stories come out stronger and better when you can connect with other writers and people who give you a different perspective. Without the help of all these friends (CR Moss, Shannan Albright, RM Sotera, Natascha McIntyre, Beverly Preston, Mr. SM), my stories wouldn't be nearly as good or ready to show to the world.

Having other authors as friends also allows you to broaden your understanding of the trade and craft of writing. They have experience you don't and you can learn from their mistakes and successes. You can also meet more professionals within the publishing world. The more people you know who are successful in this world, the better for you!

I've received invaluable help and advice from my author friends. If you're an aspiring writer, don't hide yourself away from everyone. The most interesting writing out there is always about people, and the more people you know and learn from, the better your writing will be. Good luck!

Editing and Critique Partners

Oh, the dreaded E word!

I don't mean "electronic", which gives book publishers hives. No, I mean someone taking a hacksaw to your work and bleeding all over it until you're not sure you ever wrote anything good to begin with.

Editing.

That said, editors have a thankless job. First, the writers come to them, whining and crying, "Oh please edit my work. It's good. It'll be worth your while; you'll see!" And then when they do as the writer asks, and edit to the best of their ability, the writers whine and cry, "Oh, how could you be so cruel? How could you kill my favorite sentences?" They get it coming and going.

The thing is, you can't edit your own work. You can see the story in your mind, but you're too close to it. You can't see where you've failed to explain it well enough or clearly enough through your writing. Worse, what about all the correctly spelled typos? The spellchecker won't catch it when you spell the darn word correctly, even if it's the wrong word. Taylor Mali gives an excellent illustration of why we need editors and proof readers in his poem The Impotence of Proofreading.

Having someone edit your work is nerve-wracking and scary, but the whole point of being a writer is so someone will eventually read your work! And not your mother, who's very proud of you and will tell you your writing is fabulous even when it's crap. Not your friends, either. They're too scared to hurt your feelings because they know this is "your baby".

You need editors and critique partners, people you can trust to tell you where your story needs elaboration, cutting back, or even rewriting. And you have to trust them to look at the story with your best interests at heart. They are there to help you make the story better. Granted, you don't want people who are derisive or so negative they kill your love and urge to write; but you do want people who critique seriously and with the intent to help you. The comments may be hard to read, but they are meant to make your story the best it can be.

The biggest thing you must do is let go of your "Attachment To The Words". You can't have favorite sentences when you hand off your work to an editor. They might get cut or moved or so rearranged they don't look like they did before they left your hands. You have to let it all go. Once it goes to your critique partners, it will change, probably for the better. The good news is you can choose which comments to take to heart and which to ignore. Maybe your reader didn't get what you were trying to say and a little rewording will help. Maybe they jumped the gun too early and the problem will be explained a little later, so you just need a little more setup to prime them.

A big thing to remember: the editor and critique partners are there TO HELP. The more comments they make, the more they care to make your story the best it can be.

I have (currently) four critique partners who help me smooth the rough spots, fill out the descriptions, and edit the crappy word choices I made. They also come from all walks of life: I managed to find a technical writing editor who can fix my word usage (YAY!); I found a scientific writer who enjoys science fiction and romance stories, and reads, a lot; I have a romantic suspense writer who has a great grasp of romantic elements in the crazy world of conflict; and I convinced a science fiction/fantasy writer to critique my work to help me with the paranormal aspects of my stories.

The more people who read your work and offer suggestions, the better. You'll never catch all the little quirks in your stories, but the cleaner you make them, the greater the likelihood you'll win a contract with a publisher and/or agent.

The biggest thing I want to offer: DON'T GIVE UP, even if you have a lot of work to do on the story you had critiqued. So this story wasn't the best; move on to the next one and learn from the mistakes on the first. Deb Coonts mentioned that the first story is good, the second story is great, and the third one is awesome, because she's had practice and learned from the mistakes. Same thing here. Don't give up after the first story if it isn't as good as you thought. The best stories are yet to come! :)